Me: Aren't I the best mom ever?
S: *nodding in agreement*
Me: *mock outrage because, I mean come on I'm great. Right?* What? I'm not?
C: No. If you were the best mom ever you'd let us do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted.
Me: Really? So, to be the best mom ever I have to let you do anything and everything you wanted?
S: Yes. That's why you're not the best mom ever.
Me: Well, I guess you are just going to be disappointed for the rest of your lives because it looks like I am destined to be the worst mom ever.
S: *sighs* yeah.
Me: So, if I were the best mom ever and let you do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted, what would you do?
C: *gets very excited--I seriously think he's thinking he's going to get this* I would get a ladder and climb to the top of the roof and jump off the side and....
Me: ....and break your legs? That sounds like a lot of fun. I can't imagine why I'd refuse that.
C: *still very excited* Oh, no I wouldn't. I'd put a big trampoline there and jump onto that.
Me: Huh. Well. I guess it's just too bad that I'm the worst mom ever because that wouldn't backfire at all.
S: *a very long drawn out sigh* yeah, too bad.